A Smile that Could Take on the World

     Looking at this photo of me and Uncle Mark, I realize how times have changed- how I have changed. At 20 1/2 months old I was bright-eyes and naive. I had no idea what the world had in store for me. I had no idea the things people were capable of. To me the world was merely a space meant for exploration. There were no limits. There was no pain. The world was full of nothing but happiness. But times have changed. My eyes are not as blue, my hair is a darker brown, and I haven't seen my Uncle Mark in many years. Now I know the horrible things that people are capable of. I know that there are limits- limits to the places you can go, limits to the knowledge you can have, and limits to the things you can achieve. But most of all I've learned that the world is full of pain, sorrow, disappointment, and (sometimes) happiness. Regardless, one part of this picture still reigns true today: my smile. Knowing all of the horrors this world has to offer I still manage to maintain that smile. That smile that reveals an optimistic outlook on the world, even in times of sadness. That smile that makes you recall a happier time, and reminds you that there are more to come. Through all these years I have managed to hold onto that part of me, and I hope to never lose that. Because "the knowledge gained through [this photograph] will always be [one] of sentimentalism", (Sontag) it is invaluable to me. Looking at this photo will always remind me who I was, and give me the resolve to keep that optimistic outlook on life.

Growing Up in a World Full of Hate

     When I entered elementary school I learned a lot of new words, words I hadn't heard before. In my innocent little mind I thought words like "shut up" and "stupid" were curse words. But when I came to school and met all the other kids I learned a whole new vocabulary. Thirty kids all blending their vocabularies together; I was bound to learn a few new words. Little did I know that my vocabulary was just beginning to grow. As I grew up and expanded my horizons to new people, I learned that there is so much hateful language in this world. Each day I witness countless forms of aggression- whether it be micro-aggression or just plain hate. This aggression can be caused by many different things. Many people blame what they say on being upset, as if being upset gives them the right to say whatever they please. This fallacious idea makes aggression seem a solution to problems, but it is the exact opposite of that. No matter what the root of this aggression is, it is never the best option. Maya Angelou once said, “Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.” Just as fighting fire with fire is ridiculous, fighting hate with hate is just as pointless. So, why do we create all this hateful language? Furthermore, why do we continue to use this hateful language? My best guess it that it's because that's what we learn in this world-not love, but hate. 

Our Government, Our Protectors.

In Terry Tempest Williams' essay, "The Clan of One-Breasted Women," she brings to light the idiocracy of the American government. She tells her families story and how their lives were changed because of the American government. Williams recounts the many family members she lost due to breast cancer, caused by the bomb testing done near her home. The government knew what they were doing could have detrimental consequences, but continued their tests, claiming that the area was “virtually uninhabited desert terrain.”

                Although this (the government lying to and putting citizens lives at risk) seems like an issue left long in the past, 1989 to be exact, it is not. Something eerily similar and just as saddening occurred just one year ago in Flint, Michigan, the Flint Water Crisis. Last year, the city of Flint was devastated to find out that their water was contaminated, and could cause many health issues. Many cities rallied behind Flint and helped them, until the government could do something to permanently ensure their water was safe and clean. Little did they know that the government was the exact reason they were in this mess.  The government realized that the water in Flint contained more than the legal amount of lead. However, to bring the pipes up to code would cost $100 per day. Instead of paying this slight fee, the government overlooked the issue at the expense of the lives of the Flint residents.

                This deceit by the American government is all too common. To them, we are “sheep. Dead sheep.”

A Night to Remember

Walking into the reception hall I glance around. All the girls look like they have spent countless hours preparing for tonight, after all you only go to prom once. Each girl has their hair, make up, even their nails done. As I make my way to my seat I find myself momentarily mesmerized by all the beautiful dresses. Each one is different, unique. I glance around the room again and see my friend. I make my way over there, still taking everything in. As I reach my friend, we both gasp, amazed at how beautiful the other one looks. We chat for a moment, bragging about who did our hair and where we got our dresses. I excuse myself and walk back to my table, feeling confident. When I arrive they are bringing out the first course of the meal. I look around to see who I will be eating dinner with, making polite conversation as I do. The other two girls and I exchange compliments, and the boys are quick to follow. I look around at the boys, wanting to compliment them and include them in our conversation more. But I quickly realize that there is a reason I hadn't taken notice of the boys outfits before- they are all wearing nearly the same thing. The only real difference in their outfits are the color of their ties, maybe their shirts if they're feeling adventurous that evening. But, overall, "the men's styles were unmarked". Looking around one last time, I knew that people would be talking about which girl wore this and which one wore that for weeks to come, but by tomorrow noone would remember which guy wore which black suit.

Girls Workout Too

     I walk into the room and am immediately taken aback; it smells like body odor mixed with the bit of cologne left over from the morning spritz. The smell alone is enough to make a girl turn around and walk right back out the door. But, if by some miracle you can make it past all that, you are met with, possibly, a more obnoxious issue: the boys themselves. Before I am even five feet into the room, all the boys have stopped working out and have turned to me. All eyes are on me as if they have never seen a girl workout before. I awkwardly make my way to the exercise bike, aware that they are still watching. I see some of the boys whisper to their 'buddies', but I act like I don't notice. Instead, I smile at them and put my earbuds in. "Working out is my biggest hobby … I just zone out," (Zac Efron). For the next half hour I don't even think about the boys, I just do what I came to do: workout. When I'm finally done, I take out my earbuds and make my way for the door. Just as I am walking out one of the boys calls out to me, saying something about my body-but I just keep walking. A minute later a boy says to his friend, "Thank god she's gone, I hate when girls come in here. It's not like they actually want to workout." At that moment I silently vowed to come back whenever possible, if only to prove myself to that one boy. That sure was an eye opening experience, who knew the workout room at Troy High was so sexist?

Tradition Reimagined

      Marriage means, by definition, the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. Nowhere in this definition does it say that one must have a huge reception, or that one must spend thousands of dollars on one night, or even that one must be married in a church. Why then, are people judged so harshly when they get married at an in-n-out wedding place in Vegas? The answer is simple: social standards. Society tells us that we must all follow the age old tradition associated with marriage. Tradition states that you be married in a church, the couple be of opposite sex, the bride be wearing a long white dress with a beautifully stitched veil, and the venue be filled with countless friends, family members, and coworkers you barely tolerate. However, society is changing, and these traditions are quick to follow. Nowadays the couple does not necessarily have to be a man and a woman. In addition, wedding dresses are becoming bolder each year. Likewise, you can get married on a beach, in your backyard, or even in a Taco Bell. After all, who would want that four course meal at the reception when you could have a $4 bean burrito and a Baja Blast Freeze, on the house? All these changes to tradition have been allowed, if not happily accepted. So, how come getting married in Vegas is still considered so 'trashy' and 'impulsive'? Perhaps it is because of the belief "that there is no "time" in Las Vegas, no night and no day and no past and no future," (Didion). Or, maybe it's because of the popular saying, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." It could even be the fact that Vegas just has that reputation. Regardless, marriage is not defined by where you get married, or by how long the ceremony is, or even by how much you spend on the whole ordeal. The only aspect of a wedding that truly matters is the love between the bride and groom.

 Waking up in Vegas by Katy Perry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-pUaogoX5o

 

 

 

My Morning Ritual

                Each morning my alarm clock rings at 5:20 am. I groggily wake up, check my phone and get out of bed. The next step in my morning ritual is to make a fruit salad, after all I want to maintain a nice figure. After eating it's off to the bathroom for the most important part: putting on my face for the day. Foundation, concealer, highlight, blush, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, chapstick. I have to cover every little imperfection, lest someone see the real me. Once my face is made, I have to deal with an even bigger challenge: my hair. Fifteen minutes later and my uncontrollable hair is burned pin-straight. Last but certainly not least is my outfit, after all, all eyes are on me right? Now I'm ready to face my friends.

                Wow, I never realized how ridiculous my morning routine, or ritual if you will, truly is. However, Horace Miner reveals just how narcissistic Americans are. Miner writes, "The focus of this [ritual activity] is the human body, the appearance and health of which loom as a dominant concern in the ethos of the people." When I initially read this I completely disagreed, until I took a moment to reflect on my morning ritual. After thinking about it I realized that the majority of my morning is devoted to trying to make myself look different, to make myself look better. Miner really calls to attention an issue that never occurred to me before: why do we go through this ridiculous, extensive ritual each day? Maybe because our appearance contributes to our ethos. In our society the ones who receive the most attention are the ones who appear the most attractive, the most put together. After all, we all follow this ritualistic mindset. As far as we are concerned, the way we look is what is most important. Most cultures would call this narcissistic, or at the very least self-centered, but for us that's just being an American.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

           "Yell to start," is what my Father would tell me, screaming across the empty soccer field. He liked to let me think I had an advantage, but I never did. As soon as I yelled, "start", I started running, full speed towards the goal, towards my father. As I ran, I felt the wind whipping the hair about. I felt the grass underneath my cleats, helping me to grip the ground , that way I wouldn't stumble. But, most of all I felt the adrenaline pumping through my veins just as I approached the goal. At the last second I had to choose my corner, this would decided if I made the goal or not. With the goal line in sight I picked my corner and let the ball fly, confident I had scored. But of course my dad blocked it; I always had to miss.

            This was the relationship I had with my Father, a.k.a my coach. My whole childhood I wanted to impress my dad, and the way to do that was through soccer, his sport. As Brad Manning stated, "His words were physical." Not that he never said he loved me, but I think we connected more when we were playing soccer. He would constantly practice with me, tell me what I was doing wrong, and push me to be better. With every comment, I felt closer to him. Maybe he didn't leave me notes in my lunch bag, but that's okay. "Our communication was physical, and that is why we did things like [play soccer]."

They're just like us

            All my life I have been exposed to people with disabilities. In fact, my younger cousin has a disability; he's autistic. Regardless, it never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with him, probably because there isn't. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't see it this way. Countless times I have heard people make comments about people with disabilities. I even hear some people making fun of people with disabilities, as if they chose to be that way. Having a disability isn't a choice, if anything it's a test. People with disabilities inherently have a more challenging time doing just about anything than people who don't have a disability. However, it isn't the disability that keeps them from doing different things, it's the stereotype they have. Just like Nancy Mairs wrote in Disability, "It’s not about a woman who happens to be physically disabled; it's about physical disability and the determining factor of a woman's existence." For people with disabilities, the possibilities aren't endless. After all, the very definition of the word disability, as defined by dictionary.com, suggests that having a disability creates limits: a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities.

            Recently I have been getting more involved in activities meant to help people with disabilities. There are numerous events held for disabled people that are meant to help them experience normal activities. In fact, I recently went to a dance held for people with disabilities. Being at an event like this was truly eye opening. Going to this dance helped me to bond with other kids who are just like my cousin. Talking to other kids with disabilities helped me to get to know them, looking beyond their disability. These kids have the same interests as me: they play games, eat pizza, play with their pets, even complain about school. People say that kids with disabilities are different, some even say weird. But how can you say that when you don't know them? When all you know is that they have a disability? But, how does having a disability affect your personality? It doesn't. Maybe we look down upon people with disabilities because it makes us feel powerful. Maybe we do it because it helps us to deal with the fear that at any moment we could become just like them? Maybe we just do it because that's what society tells us to do?

Here is a podcast I made with my cousin about disabilities:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3_Tlawl9DToVzd5bGpNYWVQeWZfTXZHVG9BY1FYaWJLT00w/view?usp=sharing